The crew - and the group of rag-tag, daredevil do-or-die heroes - lifted the battering ram, and aimed it carefully at the door. Upon the final count from Leon, they all charged heroically, ready to slam it hard into the gate.
Unfortunately, they did not count on one ever-present factor - not even the supreme epicenter of a mighty sally into the bold unknown could curb a certain pair's perverted desires. As a result, mid charge -

"THOSE FRUITS LOOK LIKE BOOBS!!" Both brothers immediately abandoned their side of the ram to bury their faces in the alluring mounded fruit.

This destabilized the ram's trajectory, causing them to miss the gate completely, slamming into the wall to the right of the gate. Which, having undergone constant water and salt erosion for a perhaps unknowable amount of time, crumbled surprisingly easily, revealing a way inside.

Hexy let go of the battering ram, and went to sit down on a rock for a moment. "I just saw a trap devised to contain an incredibly powerful force defeated by a passion for fruity breasts." Hexy then proceeded to stick her head in the sand like an ostrich, seemingly given up on life.
Clun actually managed to knock himself out with his club this time, his brain in danger of overloading and short-circuiting from the presence of impossibly-prevailing stupidity.
Tyrcestus looked down at Trinity, lost for words as the brothers continued motorboating foliage.
"THEY'RE SO SOFT..."
"AND TASTY... *licking noises*"

The crew immediately sprang to work - one of them grabbed both brothers and gave them a sound slapping, another whipped out a quill and parchment and started scribbling how Captain Leon had battled his way through an army of bloodthirsty demons single-handed, encountered the trap, failed the trap, then promptly sent the Reaper running like a little bitch. The other two crew members delivered each other such a stunningly majestic high-five that the very air around the high-five rippled like an explosion had just torn the sky open. Clun woke up from the impact, thinking an earthquake had just struck.

Tyrcestus picked Trinity up and set her on his shoulder.
"You ok?" he asked, wondering how she was taking all this.

Hexy refused to leave the sand, making despairing moaning noises. Gizzard meanwhile saw his opportunity and started sneaking up on her now prominently-exposed behind...

Arisa massaged her hands, after wielding such a heavy...thing. She looked at everyone, shaking her head slightly, with a slight smile on her face, as she walked towards Leon. "Who would've thought that you'd be a captain." She said to him, then folded her arms. "Now what are we to expect when we get inside?"

Arisa turned and nodded her head to Zerron. "Yes." She acknowledged what he had said to her. She drew her katana, and held it tightly, as well as the scabbard in her other hand. She followed close between Zerron and Leon, stepping as lightly as she could with each step.

name: Serana
age: 24
sex: Female
weapons: Hand Axe and Shield
class: Knight
creature/ability: Vanguard

OOC I'll write up my intro post later on. Sometime after I find out what's going on

There was no response from within, merely a cold, musty silence.

Hexy got up, shaking sand out of her hair with a fire in her eyes.
"You're lucky I don't turn you into a frog for that!" she hissed at Sean, stalking angrily past him. "You're lucky you're so hot otherwise I'd kick your ass!"
Clun shook his head. "What's going on? We're going in? Ok." He trudged inside past Arisa and Zerron with no concern at all. Tyrcestus checked Trinity was secure in his arms, and walked after him. Vizard and Gizzard followed, sneaking a glance at Arisa's butt as they passed and then starting an argument over whether trainee assassins or witches had nicer butts in general.
The crew followed suit, warily expecting some kind of trap.

As they progressed further and further into the heart of the tree, the air became thicker and dustier, and in some places the dust was a few inches thick.
"This place must be as old as the hills," Tyrcestus murmured, stifling a sneeze.
Then, ahead of them, a light shone through the darkness. As they drew closer, a chest was revealed, under a ray of sunlight with steps behind it leading out onto the island again. The chest itself was huge and ornate, coated with dust and cobwebs but a gleaming red, exactly as Tyrcestus had seen it. The chest had no keyhole, instead having a very strange carving where it should have been. The carving was of a very vague face - it could be a man or a woman, adult or baby, child or aged. It had a very timeless quality to it. There were ten indents in the face, each with own tiny miniature faces in each. Each of the tiny faces were fanged.
Hexy leaned in close to examine it, but when she saw the tiny faces she drew back sharply.
"This isn't good... this is not something we should be doing. We need to go, right now, really quick."
"Why?" Tyrcestus asked, and Hexy looked at him with a terrified expression on her face.
"This is a deitic lock. As in, you need a bona-fide GOD to actually construct one of these. This is a big deal! We need to think about this! Actually scratch that, we need to bail! RIGHT NOW!"

OOC: Kind of got a recap from DM so I think I'll just go with this idea and see where it goes from there. Also for once I'm not playing a psychopath xD


I've been stowed away on this ship for only God knows how long now, surviving on what little bit of food the people on this ship wouldn't notice was missing. I honestly don't know how I haven't been noticed, I mean I kind of stick out since I'm wearing my armor. I don't know, maybe they aren't that perceptive? I sneaked aboard the ship one of the last times it docked from what I could hear. Had my orders to sneak aboard a pirate ship and gather whatever info I could find. Problem was there were two ships at the dock and I got aboard the wrong one. Didn't know that until it was too late and here I am now. My heart would pound every time one of them would come down here, afraid of what they would do to me if they found me hiding here. It's odd. Even though we stopped I don't feel like escaping. I know that I'm no where near my home now and don't have any desire to leave this ship. This ship, mainly the storage area that I am in, feels like my new home. I don't know, maybe the lack of air flow is getting to me since I have yet to take off my helmet since I got on here. Now that I think about it, I haven't heard any yelling from up above, so maybe no one is on the ship right now? I could go out and explore if I so desired. You know what, I think I'll do that. Would be good to stretch my legs. I get up from my hiding place, behind a couple of barrels in the corner of the ship, and exit the storage room.

The crew immediately ran over to the chest, took hold of it as many as could grab it, and heaved upwards with all their might.
The chest didn't budge.
Hexy looked like she wanted to punch him. "Leon, you're striking me as the kind of person who'd look Medusa in the eyes just to see what would happen. This chest isn't going to be moved or shifted by conventional means - it was designed by a GOD for crying out loud! Look, the only sensible course of action is clearly -"
"How do you open it?" Tyrcestus asked, looking at the chest. Hexy threw her hands up in submission. "DID EVERY GUY FORFEIT HIS BRAIN CELLS?!"
"Hey!" Vizard interjected. "We gave our brain cells away voluntarily, thank you very much!" added an indignant Gizzard.
Hexy gave up trying and examined the chest. "I'm not exactly a residential expert on deitic locks, but from the looks of it, ten people of great strength are required. These fanged faces... if I remember correctly, that means a sacrifice of some sort must be made. Not our lives," she added hastily, "that would defeat the point of becoming this thing's jailers. But whatever it is... we're going to have to give something up to release it. I can't tell you what, only that whatever it is, it won't be fatal."
"I'll do it," Tyrcestus said immediately. Hexy facepalmed, and Clun stepped up. "Me too."
Both of the perv brothers instantly put their hands up. "If this thing feels grateful, and can shower us with money and women for rescuing it, THEN IT'S WORTH THE RISK!" Vizard said heroically.
Hexy almost collapsed from the overwhelming presence of valiant idiocy, but sighed. "I might as well, not like with you lot around I'm expecting to live much longer..." She placed her finger on one of the tiny fanged faces, and the others followed suit. To a count, that left five finger-holes left.

Arisa looked around the room, as if she was expecting some kind of an attack from nowhere. When no such thing occurred, she shrugged, and walked towards the guys...if she was going to die, she might as well die helping out her friends.